a free write
I just came to the realization that I’m only political when I’m sad. The first post on this blog is reactionary. My post about Kavanaugh and anger is reactionary. This post is reactionary. My reason for doing all of this is reactionary. It’s a response. It’s so inefficient. It’s not a way to make change. We have to be preventative. We have to make systemic change. To be honest, I’m not sure how to do that.
I’m so sick of having to be respectable in this fight. I’m tired of having to find evidence to justify my oppression. I’m tired of having to present myself in a certain way. I’m not seen as professional because I don’t wear pantsuits. I’m not seen as professional because my gender presentation is a little bit queer. Automatically my voice is invalidated because I look young and don’t dress like Hillary Clinton and happen to have a hoop in my nose. But then again, Clinton’s fashion choices were used as a tool against her. My four years of public health work, two internships, educational background, and projects stand for nothing because I don’t fill in my eyebrows. Still, I have so much privilege. I can’t imagine how hard it is for those who have less than me. There’s no way to be taken seriously unless you are well off and white and male.
I’m tired of hearing that 13 year old girls have to have a sufficiently moving story to get an abortion even when they often aren’t even developed enough to survive childbirth or when they are deemed “not mature” enough to abort with no regard given to the maturity need to raise a whole human. These stories are required regardless of context, even when the pregnancy was not the girls’ choice. Vulnerability is taken advantage of. Girls are violated in every possible way. The obvious power grabs inherent in our system make me physically nauseous.
I can’t stand it when I see people who say they don’t care about politics or try to avoid them. That in itself is political and its the pinnacle of privilege. Its disgusting. You are shitting on the centuries of work that it took to get us here. You are disregarding women that went on hunger strikes just to vote. You are invalidating black people who risked their lives to show up at the polls. You are forgetting that Native Americans have been through decades of genocide at the hands of our government. You are the problem. You enable racism. You enable rape culture. You enable fascism. You enable oppression. You disappoint me.
Even now, I’m debating whether or not to make this post public. I’m afraid that this won’t be seen as civil and therefore won’t be taken seriously. That’s the problem though. We’ve been trained and intimidated into submission. Every bit of this is a political choice from the writing style, to the content, to the transparency.
I know I am young. I know I don’t have the endorsements to back me up. I know I’m impolite.
I don’t care.
If you have learned anything from history class you know the oppressed can identify oppression and oppressors. Trust us. History has its eyes on you.
Every good wish,